how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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