just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
