U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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