He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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