break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
