So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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