Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
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