remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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