he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
