Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Randomize
