wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
