Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
