I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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