Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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