Christians are straight up FREAKS
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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