That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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