do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
