i just had sex bonerless
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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