I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
thus making me awesome and them whores
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
