i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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