It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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