soooo we both peed the bed last night...
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
