i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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