Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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