i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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