He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
