Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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