Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
