You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
farters have to be the big spoon...
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
i've created a new STD.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
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