Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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