Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I would fuck him just for his dog
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize