Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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