so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
She's the barista slut.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
