I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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