Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
now i know why i became what i already was.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
