Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
