Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
