why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Randomize
