Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
