My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
