im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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