they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
