i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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