I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
