I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
