His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Randomize
