Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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