So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
