My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
