When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
