All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
