next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
found the other keg... it's in the tree
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
