I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
