you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
