You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
