Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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