physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize