ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
