I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
