Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize