So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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