According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
