We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
