Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I want a musical about memes.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
