It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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