no. you can't hotbox the world.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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