You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
