I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Success! We fucked roommates!
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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