before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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