Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize