A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
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