your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
