You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize