Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
