This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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