nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
