White coat. Heels.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
