You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
There's even glitter on my cock...
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