i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
