I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
false alarm, still single
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize