so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
