Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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