In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
