Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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